A reflection on this year’s International Day of Peace and the importance of developing a secure sense of self.
This past week the Windhoek International School celebrated our Namibian Heritage Week alongside the International Day of Peace (IDP) on 21 September.
Grade 3 students perform in sign language at today’s Primary assembly!
I like the symbolism of these two events occurring side by side, because I believe that to promote peace and international mindedness, we must also provide a secure, proud, and humble sense of self.
In the field of psychology, “Attachment Theory” posits that the primary goal of a human infant is to maintain appropriately close proximity to their caregiver in order to feel Safe, Seen, Soothed, and Secure. When these things “4 S’s” are present, individuals develop a positive model of others and a positive model of self.
They are able to interact well with people who are both similar and different from themselves, and they can interact with the world in a secure and expansive manner. Signs of a secure attachment style include:
ability to regulate your emotions
easily trusting others
effective communication skills
ability to seek emotional support
comfortable being alone
comfortable in close relationships
ability to self-reflect in partnerships
being easy to connect with
ability to manage conflict well
high self-esteem
ability to be emotionally available
When I see this list, I can’t help but think about these attributes not just at the individual level but also about societies as a whole. When nations feel secure in their identity and safe in their status, they are more likely to welcome immigrants, encourage a diversity of viewpoints, partake in positive dialogue, find diplomatic solutions to conflict, and engage in cross-border investment and trade.
We must only read or watch the news–or simply look around–to realise that we are living in a traumatised world. We need our world to feel more safe, seen, soothed, and secure now more than ever. Dan Siegel of the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center has identified five things we can do to help our children form secure attachment styles to their peers and loved ones:
Presence
Engagement
Affection
Calm
Empathy
So on this International Day of Peace and during our Namibian Heritage Week, let’s all do our part – within our families, within our school, within our social/religious groups, and within our countries–to build peace.
Sincerely,
Ethan Van Drunen
Director